I in I

enough of times of tying around
enough it is to mellow down
hanging out loud and out
wanting and not wanting to be figured out.

Knock each nut
crush each thought
to remain in seclusion
to remain in remains

no windows
no clouds
around me
and me around

Asking myself
Have I found
Asking them
Have I been found


Tossing in an orbit
of constant doubt
knowing unkowing
Hoping to tread out

To choose the way
looking for direction
To know the answer
looking for questions

How the loud silence erodes
bit by bit
pie by pie
uff, where is the I in I.


I is almost i.e
That, that is
and that, that is not.

I miss you, full stop not comma

I hate to miss you

and then you keep coming by

in those fonts

and in those colours

You must have been a magician

playing your disappearing acts

loving applauds of sweet kinds

but what about the sweeter kinds?

I count on the moving buses

looking for faces that almost look like you

I search and sigh

I know I wouldnt find you

Inching thoughts of your day

I wonder why you are so far away

I design and structure my thoughts

to fit in some logical answer

How I would sulk

how I wouldn't even mind

I juggle moods in a second

As soon as I see you

No pinks no purples

I like when you are not around

They all fade a shade

that's when I know

I do, I miss you

Not caressed, not seen

those moods fly in my time

die a sweet death

when you make me smile

Times when you are here

but only in thoughts

there is a spot so vacant

waiting to be occupied

Waiting dot

Waiting commas

Waiting rests in my letters

Waiting rests in my eyes

Told and untold

but it's always there

Too used to

Too love in to

I would declare a war one day

Not wave or smile

if you came my way

but imagine of the misery

If i miss even when you are to stay

How much i would miss if you were gone away....

--

Divya

Begin doing what you want to do now. We are not living in eternity.

We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand-and melting

like a snowflake...” ~ Francis Bacon Sr.

Hazy Moon and lazy nights

Hazy Moon and lazy nights
twisting heads in traffic as they go by
a halt at the red is all you need
thank god for signals and that speed

A moment to spare to look at the time
you would have the second to see another second
what keeps you so busy i ask
not that a clock would have a better answer

We tread so much like it
same paths, same ways, same pace, same place?
randomize the moods,
and you see there good times and better ones

Clicking and picking
picking and clicking
Doing and undoing
undoing and doing.

I kid not,
for this is what we do.
and hazy moons and lazy nights
do this to me from time to time..


They trip me, they fall me
I almost look like a fool
For they dont see, what cam I do ?
the hazy moons and lazy nights

As random as it can get

What I call Desire

Around and beyond a voice
is a whisper that cannot talk
and as it triggers a notion in my head
I move two stops not knowing to where
these sounds they come and go abrupt
illogical streams of motion they are
they are forever lost and thought
they are desires, never cared for
a glimpse of what you cannot see
a moment of what you cannot be
sheer existence how I describe
is so much to do with what i desire
I ask myself the questions that are same
and answers that are given always change
if time is moving
Am I not?
What have to seize
That i have not?
I ask myself the questions that are same
and answers that are given always change

An unusual sunday at a haunted house.

Wondering i got there? I drove! My driving class. I think it was one of those leisurely sundays where people in the back seat did not have to cramp up and sit :D. The Accelerator, the brake and the Clutch all in action..and me scripting them well :D m we kinda got through the traffic...avoided the ditches and managed to get on the Shamirpet hi way. All well in 4th gear..smoothhhh it was no jhatkas..nuthing...but at the same time was a lil boring too. Coz Ramu keeps telling me to shift the gears..and i am still trying to figure out when is the 'snap' moment when you change the gear :-s. I guess I have an idea..when the car goes Khrrrr khrrrrr and u feel are driving over coconut husk and the car makes my old neighbourly aunty type grunts, that when i have to change the gear :D. One other girl and this other man somehow seemed to have an interest in the traffic system in Tokyo. Yap yao yap and more yap yap. And then Ramu <> diverts the car with his lefts and rights and takes us to this Haunted house....the lights go off in my mind...with oooooo ooooo ooooooooooooooo sound in my head. Bangla no: sumthing sumthing...Cornel: sumthing sumthing...:-OIt was like a playfield for so many Hindi movies :D
These guys go to this place coz it has this like you would say "big ass" grounds ,,making people practice their curvy eights...and duty h reserve parking. Since i had no business of roasting in the car while the others did it, I set off to the haunted house :D and sat there aram se...in the shade..and put on Enya...she has this kinda haunting music too...There were cigreatte stubs..crashed bottles...and the not so raped parts had some interesting graffitis on the wall...the open doors..with lost and gone latches seemed so inviting..I am sure I am going to tag along some of these guys and take them there..! Just done with the Paranormal Activity i was almost careful to be nice in my thoughts or i would invoke someone somwhere..and that music run again in my head :-o.HONK HONK< they are done and i run.
I was so thrilled when i got back. :D

Unexpectedly Awesome Chennai

Away from my city.

Off for a change.

Chennai was indeed a refreshing can of 'unpopped' pop corn.

Hot sultry Chennai in mid April was all open arms (read sweat and humid) and i got closer patching up(armed myself:P). The journey in the General Sleeper Class by the Charminar Express was not as bad as I thought it would be. The compartment was surprisingly clean and the toilets cleaner (phew!). No chacha kaki,"chinu beta khana lo", or "Shirdi waale Sai Baba" crooning for a change. May be it has to do with the southern edge.! Sophisticated in it's own way :D. I was pretty fascinated to see the Wall at the end where our train halted at the Chennai Central Station, and it continued when i saw the mail building as well. A building with a character as i would call it!

After the meeting and greetings, we headed off with much or more enthusiasm to the East Coast Road. The road that connects Chennai to Pondicherry. On the left giving you company is the Bay of Bengal which gushes in and out and all round about as you cruise. I couldn't have gone on this one day 'lets see how it turns out' trip with anyone other than Hima and her hubby. They have pretty much galavanted the area ..and like they say "is ilake ka chappa chappa mujhe malum hai" types. The bike ride is amazing ..the road is great..the weather bit can be ignored for a moment and looks fine through the tinted glasses:D.

Our first stop was a random beach, as we found our way through an aisle of bougainvilleas..I mean it was hardly the prototyped Chennai that I had in my mind :D. We collected mollasses and their shells..I think they were off on a holiday too :( for we wern't too lucky as far as teh count goes, but i loved the pretty green ..and the inside of it is rainbow like...reflecting beautiful colours..Sudhir tried to teach me how to play the Flying Disk , but i guess we are just naturals :D Now i know for sure that i am good at throwing things than getting hold of them :D. Ah! it was a picnic. I can't recall the last time i went on one!

After this halt rode on to the 'Olive Beach'. Well it's one of those undercoonstruction Beach Resorts. It's kinda like an island, so we had to ride across a marchy pool of land..where there were cultivating fungi..and then we hit the beach. Dogs and fishermen!! That's it , it was kinda unbelievable coz i don't think I had ever been to a beach before where there was NO ONE else! Wow, i remember feeling in awesomest sense is what i felt. Sparkling sea at 10 in the morning, they said the tised are bad they said, the ones that take you in. So we lazed around, walked around, making foot prints off the sand..but on contrary ..not leaving behind the trails but taking them along..the hilight was the boat ride we took on the fisherman boat there. Bargained for around 400 bucks..the Fishermen would take us inside the sea and he would just throw us in the water [:D] and so he did...we tobbled and turned <> i was literally all over the place :D. Hima and Sudhir could stop laughing and I couldn't stop toppling :D. The best was the feeling of being liberated and just being free...NO CONTROL..and it felt like one of those rare moments..where for a moment you could see only the horizon melt in the sky...and felt your presence too when you jolt back from the trip. Was it a High tide or what! Floating..and sinking...going sideways and in circles..the water was just so 'allowing' . Now i know why i have always wanted to learn Ballet, to do it in the sea :D. The pointed toes all sharp and the swirls too swirly..Squinted eyes can see more may be, the sky was lovely..everything was lovely. Like Sudhir said "Still can't get over the ride". So after a cool picture session, and a little digging sand and an attempt to dig me in :D<> we washed off the sand with a pipe hose shower at a construction site and changing in a hut :D. yes another adventure check:P.

After that we headed to EAT , YAY. The ECR Dhaba, it was just the nearest..but turned out to be a good pick:D except for the fact that the Babycorn was too bland, the noodles were lame :-s it was our 'Day Resort'. I slept aram se...no hurrying burrying waiters..perfect continuation to the beach , sans the beach :D in turn we got some Ostricth, Pigeons <> We took some feed for them and they came pecking in our hands :D that pokey ticklish ..and a lil scared :D, but the Pigeons actually make you feel at ease :-o I have no idea how:D. So we walk out getting a phree water bottle, coz we had been given expired water bottle :((! A few more clicks and we were off :D

The halt next was so brilliant, I was like " Are you kidding me ". The Groove was awesome..the corniferous trees stood tall.. it did not look creepy at all :D ..we had another picnic :DYAY. The feeling of literally "Laying back". We spread the bedsheet and got on it :D The random talks...the click flicks..m.e.m.o.r.a.b.l.e. And then we headed to Taj's Fisherman Cove, and wanted to buy some drinks, but the bar was closeddd *Whayyy* so we just hung around doing nothing and got on the roads to head home again. The ride was awesome, the halt at "Hot Breads' was overrated :( <>. And just when i thought it was over, We stopped at this World Handicraft shop called D'hut. I will just post a pic for now, hoping to blog about it. Rode almost all across Chennai on the Purple Scooty and wroomed in style ;).

The rest of the evening was also unexpectedly awesome with Sudhir chursning out cocktails from his 'Home bar' and they decked up the room to match the mood, :D. it was perfect..and my trip ended so 'not with any agenda' too, And then i thought that is the idea of a holiday, 'no plans' no agendas'. So we played cards, drank some more <> only if they are not too strong and may be next time i will go with Vodka :P based. Sudhir the Orange Crew Driver was awessssome~~~Just in time to grab the 'Madrasi Cappeee' got into the bus..grabbed my diner and all set to come back.

I just had to travel 16 hours to get what i needed! :)

Well coming back wasn't much of a choice but heck. You have to come back to go again ;).